In this Profile Of An Empath: Part II – Life Practices For The Empowered Empath, we’ll discuss daily practices that we can use to develop new patterns of behavior in reclaiming our personal energy territory with a strong self identity awareness in order to positively use our psychic gift.
It’s a good idea to review Major Traits of an Empath in Part I – Self-Identification – Are You An Empath? in the first article of Profile Of An Empath, as a refresher of the challenges we empaths are faced with. That being said, the essential inquiry every empath must ask regarding emotional or electromagnetic energy flows is, “Whose energy does this belong to?” Let’s begin.
Awareness Of Emotional Energy Flows – Is It Mine, Yours Or That?
There are two major areas of protective practice an empath must be fully aware of that include behavioral steps we learn to use and master as a daily way of living. The first area of awareness is identifying the difference between internal and external emotional energies, and having the knowledge and expertise to move that energy beyond us without holding onto it.
The second area of protective practice is an understanding for establishing clear, positive flowing energy in our external environment and incorporating external boundaries to maintain a harmonious living space.
Internal Protection-Boundary Practices
The primary dysfunctional behavior that triggers an empath is the unconscious urge to get involved in a family, friend, neighbor, or co-worker’s personal emotional laundry, wanting to make peace and help make everyone okay by way of fixing the problem for them because we just “know” what to do. What we don’t realize is that this reaction is really about us wanting to feel okay and not feel their emotions, which most likely began in childhood, taking on people’s problems so when they feel okay, we can feel okay too – a way of adapting to and coping with the psychic gift we had no idea we had.
We unconsciously believe that feeling someone else’s emotions meant we were responsible for them in some way, even propelled by guilt for knowing what could be done to help resolve something.
What we never realized, and no one taught us, is that we begin to essentially take away another person’s need to learn to resolve their own problems for their own spiritual growth. We become interference in another’s spiritual path by jumping in and either volunteering to participate in resolving or almost forcibly getting involved through unsolicited counseling and judgments – not to mention endlessly dispensing tea and cookies, allowing our home to become a revolving door, while people are talking all about their problems with us.
That’s why we walk away emotionally drained, and others sometimes leave confused or temporarily obliging to turn their problems over to us! And when it doesn’t work out, they can rightfully blame us, and no one has learned anything. We become easy scapegoats.
This cycle must be stopped for an empath to begin to regain some balanced footing in the world. That’s why it’s so critical to ask whether the emotional energies we are feeling belong to a personal situation and experience of our own only, or are we feeling someone else’s emotions/situation that have nothing to do with us?
The practice of inquiry can be challenging. Being aware of the “trigger” of instantly wanting others to feel okay so we can feel okay too, needs to be understood. This reactive behavior needs to be recognized and calmed. Once we get clarity about this, we can let go of automatically reacting to resolve, begin to practice positive new behaviors that will strengthen and empower us as individuals, and will also automatically help empower others to deal with their own emotional situations.
Inquiry greatly assists us in developing a strong self-identity in knowing who we are and what our needs are for positive emotional self-mastery.
Again, in feeling someone else’s emotions, we never learned to consciously ask ourselves who’s energy belonged to whom. We just automatically reacted to the emotions by trying to fix it as if it were ours to fix. We are not responsible and must not interfere in other people’s life problems that do not personally involve us – even when we know, because people have their own life lessons and spiritual path.
Positive daily prayer and affirmations stating what we’re grateful for is a nurturing spiritual ritual to ground ourselves in positive light and love energy.
Here are “4 Steps For Empowering Communication” to practice and develop as our new pattern of internal behavior awareness and response with the world around us:
4 Steps For Empowering Communication
Listen: Give ourselves the space to relax, be quiet, and really listen without that automatic desire to outwardly react and take on someone’s story as ours. It never does belong to us unless we’re actually named as part of the problem. Breathe and relax!
Observe: While we are listening, we are inwardly aware of and watching of our own behavior and feelings as well as other’s without attachment, as if curiously observing a movie. This is a calming and clarity exercise.
Discern: While we are with someone, a group of people, wherever we are, and doing whatever involves communication exchange, we ask ourselves “Whose energy is this?” Do these feelings belong to me personally, or do they belong to the person or group I am with? This also includes buildings and locations we find ourselves in or objects or things that give off strong emotional or electromagnetic energy. When this inquiry of identification is mastered, we can pretty quickly call it like it is. This is my energy. This is not my energy.
Respond: Responding is the opposite of impulsive reaction. We’ve determined at this point through listening and observation, and come to a conclusion (discerned) about whose energy belongs to whom. Now we’re poised to respond.
- Someone else’s emotional energy: We remind ourselves that although we feel someone’s emotions, they do not belong to us at all, so therefore, we do nothing about it. We can relax and let it pass beyond us. We can respond by acknowledging, such as, “I understand that you’re feeling angry, “Yes, I empathize that you are feeling worried right now, “or “I’m so sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you,” or “What do you want to do about that?” All anyone really wants is for someone to listen and acknowledge what they just shared. We never jump in to take over and fix anymore just because we psychically know something, unless we are specifically asked for an opinion, etc… BEWARE of going beyond answering what was asked!
- Our personal emotional energy: Acknowledge that the emotional energy belongs to us and allow ourselves to feel it and let it move through us. If all that is needed is to honor our feelings, we do that. If we are feeling angry, overwhelmed, or frustration that involves someone else, then it’s important to discern if we need to take positive right action with the individual to resolve the situation or just cool off and calm ourselves to get our bearings, which includes using the 4 Steps of Empowering Communication, helping us to confidently act from a place of self-identity and empowerment. We need to remember we aren’t responsible for how someone else reacts or responds in receiving our communication as long as we know we have communicated with self-integrity and respect, using the 4 Steps For Empowered Communication.
External Protection-Boundary Practices
Take charge of our environment by creating a clean, clear flowing harmonious space. Our home, however humble, is our personal sanctuary. The external energy of our space is equally important in supporting an empowered, peaceful feeling. Emotional energy can hang in the air. We can purify and cleanse that space regularly.
- Use the purifying/cleansing smoke of sage or sweetgrass to eliminate residual emotional energy in the environment – use it in the car, garage, every room of the home and “sage” our body aura from any attached emotional energy too
- Bring sunlight into our environment – open all drapes/blinds every day
- Use and carry gemstone/mineral energy protection/grounding ( See Resources below)
- Place herbs such as mugwort, rosemary, and lavender, etc. in the home and vehicle
- Let go of people, places, and things that hold negative/disruptive energies
- A clean home, vehicle, and work environment – eliminating dirt/clutter/confusion
- Eliminating objects/material things that do not hold a positive energy or no longer serve and support who we are now
- Stop the revolving door syndrome that allows anyone to drop in on our private space by declaring boundaries, such as call first and by invitation only. That includes boundaries when people can phone us, such as not before 8am or after 9pm
What’s the positive side of this challenging gift in being an empath? The main gift I can think of is being an example for others about what it is to practice living a life of compassion, acceptance, and understanding. After all, we empaths feel the world, and emotionally walk in the shoes of others from that spiritual emotional plane of existence. Can we not offer the deepest understanding and kindness which helps dissolve separation that is sorely needed in the world? We Empaths are natural healers and teachers for others in whatever endeavors we take on as long as we truly practice the ways of the empowered empath.
Book: “Emotional Freedom,” by Judith Orloff, MD
Book: “Positive Energy,” by Judith Orloff, MD
Book: “The Complete Empath Toolkit,”by Michael R. Smith, PhD www.empathconnection.com
Book: “Love Is In The Earth – A Kaleidoscope of Crystals” by Melody
Book: Empath Intuition – Using Your Body As An Oracle, by Michael R. Smith, PhD
Book: “Whose Stuff Is This?” – Finding freedom from the thoughts, feelings and energy of those around you, by Yvonne Perry http://whosestuffisthis.blogspot.com
Live in Beauty and be well ~ Triza Schultz
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